The Magic of Taylor Swift

Why do we treat the music tastes of women as inferior? Let's dive in

I am 34 years old and I love Taylor Swift. Now, before you roll your eyes and move on to another post, ask yourself why you might’ve just had a visceral reaction to that statement. The way we perceive, treat, and criticize the music of young women is sometimes unkind at best, condescending and harmful at worst. This, of course, is nothing new. With some exceptions, the music that young women love is the butt of every joke on social media, the comments about how “bad” the music is run rampant, and the incels on social media can’t keep themselves from harassing women online about their music taste. Why are women constantly shamed for loving music that, to put it quite simply, makes us feel good? Makes us feel seen? The answer is the same as any other: Anything women like must be lesser than what men like. That is not to say that only men criticize us. “Pick me” girls all over the world use this tactic to align themselves with men, hoping for their attention and approval. I think that is a rather important point that we don’t talk about enough. Perhaps the subject of an upcoming post?

The best place for me to start is my experience at The Eras Tour. I was blessed by one of my best friends who offered me a ticket to the show. I was thrilled—I had missed every other opportunity to see Taylor and with the tour coming to an end, I knew this would be my last chance. Something that immediately struck me when I arrived, as someone who has been to many concerts before, was the vibe—it was different. I felt extremely safe. Every single person that I encountered was kind, eager to exchange friendship bracelets, and happy to strike up a conversation in the line for drinks. It had that “women’s restroom at the club” energy that can only be described as elite. It had me reflecting on and hoping for a space entirely dominated by women—where in my life could this scenario be replicated? It is unlikely, but I suppose the only way to recreate it is to be it—make myself a safe space for other women, of all ages and backgrounds—what a dream that is.

It is amazing how the energy can shift when thousands of women come together to do one thing: experience joy openly. It is also amazing how good it feels to be in a space where there are very few men—and the men that attend are just as excited to be there as the rest of us. I don’t mean to fantasize openly about a world in which men don’t exist, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that it felt fantastic to feel so safe. To not have to even think about my safety and the safety of the women around me. It reminds me of a question I came across on social media a few weeks ago: If there were no men, who would protect you? The brilliant answer from one woman in the comment section: “Protect us from what?” Succinct and true—I’ll leave it there. Let’s not forget the sexual violence threats made by a certain idiot billionaire about impregnating Taylor…

The friendship bracelet exchange was something like an act of love. There were little girls bravely approaching me and asking if I’d like to exchange bracelets—to say that I was flattered is an understatement. I truly worried that I would be too “old” to exchange bracelets with fellow concert-goers. I thought, well, maybe only the young girls are doing that. Nope. I met two lovely women in line for the bathroom who exchanged bracelets with me—they must’ve been in their early 40s. After a few minutes of conversation, one of them told me that she was there in celebration of her 1 year anniversary being cancer-free. I gave her my bracelet that said “strength,” and she gave me hers that said “fuck the patriarchy.” It brings me to tears to even think about that moment again. It was so fundamentally human, so beautiful, so vulnerable, and I know it couldn’t have happened anywhere else. I think of her whenever I wear the bracelet and I hope she’s doing well.

Now, let’s discuss the music, shall we? I’ve been listening to Taylor for a little over ten years. The simplest way that I can describe my love of it is that it makes me feel really good. I know it makes millions of women feel really good and there is no doubt in my mind that that is why so many people criticize it. Anything that makes women feel empowered, strong, soft, brave, heard, seen—there will be plenty of people who will do everything in their power to shut that down. Keeping women in their metaphorical “place” is a battle that has to be fought on all fronts. Legislatively we see and experience it. Abortion bans run rampant in a country that seeks to control women’s bodies at every turn and on every level. Movies like Barbie receive some of the most unfair and ridiculous criticism from those who know just how powerful and inspiring it was. The executive branch is now the damn Mojo Dojo Casa White House for crying out loud. Books that put women at the forefront and teach us how to love ourselves are banned, rebuked, or worse, they are dismissed as silly and unserious. Some of the same words used to describe Taylor’s music. You catch my drift?

Are you allowed to dislike her music? Of course. I just don’t believe you have to be an asshole about it. Sometimes things are popular for damn good reason and not because they’re unserious and stupid. Sometimes things are popular because they speak to a vast audience who needs to hear the message. Let’s just stop ignoring the fact that when that vast audience is women, it is met with absolute vitriol. Also, you are the absolute worst kind of person when you make fun of someone for what they like. There is never any good reason for it. Being an asshole isn’t the flex many people think it is—letting people love what they love and enjoy what they enjoy is as simple as not criticizing it in a way that makes them feel small. I see this far too often on social media when I come across posts about Taylor Swift, The Eras Tour, her endorsement of Kamala Harris, or her appearances at football games. Guys, get a fucking grip. Maybe if you didn’t spend all your time hating on a young woman for being successful and talented, you’d find yourself enjoying champagne problems.